Hey, it’s Nathan. This is the "Welcome" series for How to be Second, especially built for us that are "Seconds", this kind of person. If you signed up for the email list, you're probably already getting these! But of course, you can absorb them as fast as you'd like.
Here's the whole series:
Buying into Your Self (A Second?)
Introducing H2B2 and your Second's Community
- What and WHY is How to be Second?
- Community Agreements?
- The Guide System
- How H2B2 Makes Money
OK, I’m a Second… now what?
- Opportunity Development
- Personal Development
- Professional Development
How do I know if I’m a Second? (and can I become one?)
Well, as I’ve mentioned a few times, this is an “Identity”, a Kind of Person… not a role.
And some of our “Core Beliefs” around here are:
- Identity is inherent (like your height)
- Secondness is Identity
So, it’s not Maybelline, you’re just born with it.
So YES, we DO have an “Am I a Second” assessment that you can take here…
AND ALSO, that assessment is just an indicator - the most common result is “Some yes, some no, based on what you’ve said, it’s really hard to say.” Something funny that happens every time people take the assessment (Youtube Short)
THE PROBLEM IS: As humans, tying our Identity (and value) to our role/s is so common it deserves its own term (I’ve heard “Career Enmeshment” but I’m not sold) and when we’re talking about “Seconds”, it doesn’t matter whether you’re a “Second in Command” (SCMD) professionally or not… but Seconds answer from their competence all the time, and not their instincts.
Breaking apart Roles and Identity is often like, 80% of the work we’re doing together.
And we actually have a series of short videos breaking apart the Role vs The Identity
So, the best way to know is to read the book (or talk with a friend who is a Second), sit with it (sometimes uncomfortably), and just be really honest with yourself.
… Oh ALSO you can have a quick call with one of our Personal Development coaches here. =)
Oh hey but can I BECOME one if I’m not already?
We believe… no, you cannot “become” one. You are, or you aren’t. (And we think ~4% of the population, are)
And that means to round us out for this one, I think it would be valuable to end on our most important Core Beliefs about Identity…
The elephant and Hands idea - We are blind, and while we have placed MANY hands on “the elephant” and given it a name (Secondness)… there is never a guarantee that we have SEEN the entire elephant.
We’ve done the research, we’ve discussed this one to one with over a thousand people, and we’ve interacted with multiples of that, all of whom affirm that they resonate with this work in a way that they NEVER have before, with any other work, and that they agree that they carry this part of themselves with them wherever they go, and they ALWAYS have.
We absolutely believe that we have proven beyond doubt that this identity exists and that it’s a core part of how some people exist in the world for their whole lives. We’re comfortable describing this as “Immutable.”
AND, no matter what we’re confident about, we do not KNOW, 100%, everything there is to know about how any of this works. We do not KNOW exactly how personality and identity mesh together, we do not KNOW everything there is to know about “Secondness”...
You must choose.
We say that Secondness is 'part of who you are whether you like it or not', no one else can tell you whether or not you're a Second, they can only tell you if you look, feel, and sound like one.
At the end of the day, only you will ever know whether you are accepting/denying the blueprint of your body.
How do I join the Community?
If you are confident in raising your hand and saying “regardless of whatever job title, I am THIS KIND OF PERSON that you’re talking about” than you’re already in it.
And you’re getting this, which is a fantastic start. Now we just need to get you even more connected.
We have SO much more available to you, depending on what you’re ready for. We’re building this community of Seconds, and we are especially good at supporting your journey of Growing Alone, Going Together, and Growing Together.
That was a lot - but we always like to ask what you’re ready for next:
Are you ready for more resources you can dive into on your own? (Check out the next parts of this series, I obviously highly recommend the One Second podcast, of course, and if you're not set to get the weekly email it's sort of the "pulse" for the H2B2 community)
Or are you ready to invest in yourself and go together? If you haven't yet, register for the Monthly Meetup and come spend some time with the community - or check out the main nav and touch base for what's interesting for you.